The Cut Asks: Heels or Flats?

Amy Odell from NYMag's the Cut asked Joan and Melissa Rivers the CRUCIAL question:

Heels or flats?
Joan Rivers: Heels every day — that’s my generation.
Melissa Rivers: At work I’m a heel, in real life I’m a flat.

I personally think high heels should be called hell heels — high hells? — but I enjoy the debate because I really don't understand why women wear them. So I googled "Heels or Flats" and found a few fun links.

• At Blisstree.com, a great essay by Amber Matassa who regretfully stopped wearing heels after tripping over her heel and falling down stairs and cracking her head. She learned her Achilles tendon had become shortened after so much heel wearing, which leads right into ...

• A study published in the Journal of Experimental Biology (reported in the DailyMail.co.uk) that says women who wear high heels a lot (5 days a week for at least 2 years) have shortened and weakened their calf muscles. Changing to flats for these women will be painful. If these women don't stretch, the damage can be permanent. The article includes an awesome diagram.

• And finally, to end on a innovative note, thegloss.com reported in 2007 on 2 kinds of hybrid shoes that convert from heels to flats. Sheilas' Heels may not look sturdy but they do have a button somewhere that retracts the heel, collapsing into an easy-drivin' flat. They were designed by an insurance agency to address the safety of women driving in heels, but don't seem to be on the market anymore. The second brand, Camileon Heels, sells for about $300 and has a hinge in the heel that essentially folds in half, hiding in plain sight like a vestigial tail. Zappos lists them but doesn't have any models currently so I don't know if they are still on the market.

Sheila's Heels

Camileon Heels

WWD Celebrity Shoe Closet

Tinsley Mortimer. Photo by John Aquino.

Tinsley Mortimer. fabsugar. May 25, 2010.

Celebrity shoe closet interviews are a guilty pleasure of mine. A perfect example? Today's WWD interview with Tinsley Mortimer, a New York socialite (related to Thomas Jefferson on her mother's side). She estimates her shoe collection is between 500 and 1,000 pairs. Among her responses to Marcie Young's questions, a few stand out.

Most comfortable: Converse, but fit isn’t much of a selling point for Mortimer. “I would never not wear an amazing shoe because it wasn’t comfortable. Even if my foot was going numb, I wouldn’t care. I’d still want to wear it.”

Best kick-around style: Converse. “It’s really a new thing for me, but I get a lot of wear out of my Converses. I probably have 10 pairs in a lot of different styles and colors: green, white, blue, patterned.”

One style you wouldn’t be caught wearing: Flats. “It’s not that I don’t think they’re cute on other people; I just can’t wear them. I don’t like the way they look on my legs, even if I’m wearing jeans. It’s just not me.”

Price range you stick to: $1,500 and below, “but it depends on the shoe.”

Best qualities in a salesperson: Mortimer said she’d rather have at it alone. “I don’t like them helping me. I know what I like, and I prefer them to just let me go. I’ll probably buy more if I don’t feel any pressure.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Salespeople: I totally agree!

Price range: I suppose it's good she has an upper limit, yes?

Comfort: How uncomfortable do shoes have to be before women won't wear them? What about if a certain part of the shoe is rubbing your skin raw, then gives you a blister, and if you keep going, it will pop? I've been there, and had to walk very slowly home, until I could take them off — and then give them away!

Flats: I am curious about women who say they can't wear flats. In Tinsley Mortimer's case, it sounds like an aesthetic choice. But are there women who physically can't wear flats? I understand if it's because the flat is uncomfortable, because most flats don't have any support. I also understand if it's because the flat falls off while you walk, because I have narrow feet and this happens on most flats I try on. But are there other reasons why women physically can't wear flats?

Converse: Are you listening? You have a great brand ambassador here!